I’m a big girl; yes you can tell from the pictures, you’ll be able to tell from more pictures that I put up, etc etc. I don’t like talking about my weight, well yet me say it this way. I don’t care to talk about it, meaning if you want to know how much and what my sizes are then go right ahead, I will talk about it. But when it gets in a negative or way that says I need to lose weight, then I don’t want to talk. No one was negative, that’s not where I’m going with this.
My mom, smaller woman, just wanted to say it even though it has nothing to do with what I’m about to say…. She wants me to lose weight. I want to lose weight too, but at the same time I don’t seem as if I want to. I guess I just want a quick fix, I know that’s horrible to say, well not horrible but kinda dumb on my part cause you have to work for what you want. But dang it, I’m lazy, lol.
She is crying and whatnot about my weight and that she doesn’t want me to leave this world before she does, etc etc. I’m not being mean I understand where she is coming from, I understand that its not good to be my size, not because of how I look but to be more healthy and whatnot.
People think that bigger people are sad, no some are sad and others just like to eat food. Now I’m on the side of both. I don’t eat because I’m sad or depressed, I have my moments when I cry for no reason and my moments when I’m just sad and that’s it. But I don’t want food I want music or a comedy something to make me laugh so I can forget. I love food, it’s a passion. Food is awesome as you will here me say all the time and that’s that.
My mom thinks that I eat because I’m sad and I try to tell her I don’t but, she knows I’m sad even if I say I’m not. Mom’s know everything no matter how hard you try to keep things from them. With that said, I just don’t know what to do. I hate working out, I rather do martial arts, dance, something fun, that’s like a workout. I don’t want to feel as if I’m doing that and yeah I know it costs money, which I don’t have, and yes I need to find other ways, but I can be stubborn as hell and I just won’t budge.
But now I can’t do that since she is making me lose the weight, she is making me eat differently, and I’ll have to start doing something to work out. School starts back on Monday so maybe during that time I can work out and do some things, my friend is trying to get smaller, don’t know why cause she is already small, but oh well, maybe we can do stuff together but I know I need to do things on my own. That’s one lesson I need to learn, I can be alone and be happy and still have fun.
